How Did This All Start?

I think most little girls grow up wanting to be a mommy. I know I did. I have been told by many people that God puts certain desires in our hearts and the Bible also says that if we are following God, delighting in Him, living in His will, etc. He will give us those desires. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to get there.

December 3, 2006 I was at church and it was during the praise and worship time. God just started speaking to me. He told me that "by this time next year, you will be holding your own little girl in your arms." WOW!!!! I knew it was a desire I had and I thought about it often but that was as far as I ever went. God, unfortunately, continued to speak. You know how He is. He told me I would have a lot of work to do and a lot of money to raise to make this desire happen. It would have been so much easier if He had told me He was just going to make this baby fall from the sky.

I knew I wasn't going to be getting married and having a baby in such a short time so God must mean adoption. I started checking into it and felt a lot of peace about it. It was God's peace. I chose Kazakhstan because of the bonding period that country requires. Unlike other countries where adoptive parents just go over for a few days and then come back with a strange child, Kazakhstan requires the adoptive parents to stay and bond with the child for two weeks. What a great start for both the parent and the child.

For awhile it looked like things weren't going to work out with Kazakhstan because of my depression (it is almost nothing now and I take very little meds for it). I told my coordinator I would be fine going with Guatemala which she said I would qualify for. There was just no peace about that decision. Within an hour I told her no, it had to be Kazakhstan. I knew God would work it out. The next day was my birthday and I woke up crying and cried all morning. I wasn't trusting God at all. I made up my mind it was all going to work out, put my trust in God and the rest of the weekend went so much better. It wasn't until Tuesday that my coordinator called back and said I could adopt from Kazakhstan. I cried again, of course, only this time they were tears of joy!!! I was now going to get the little girl God has planned for me.