When God Speaks . . .

It was two years ago today that God spoke to me about my baby girl. I am not one of those people who can put on the blog the Bible verse about Hannah praying for a child. Not that I didn't want to be a mother, I just didn't pray and ask God for a baby. I had looked into international and domestic adoption a little but nothing serious.

On this day in 2006 God told me I would be holding my own baby girl in church soon. I didn't really know if I could believe it so I answered back. "God, I'm not married!! I'm not even dating anyone!! How can I have a baby of my own????" God had a plan and it then hit me. I was to adopt. By the end of that year I had signed on with Little Miracles International Adoption Agency. When God gives the directions, it is best to waste no time.

I looked at Guatemala and felt and urge toward there but ultimately decided to go with Kazakhstan. I started getting the paperwork ready, did the home study and even started buying baby girl clothes. At one point my adoption coordinator thought Kaz wasn't going to work for me and suggested I switch to Guatemala. No. I was going to Kazakhstan. Then I started feeling very restless about my choice.

My dossier was complete and I was almost ready to hit the Kaz list when I KNEW that wasn't right. I quickly emailed my coordinator and asked if I could switch to Guatemala. Not a problem. Then I was at peace. This was the first of May.

August 3, 2007 I got the referral for a beautiful baby girl from Guatemala. Right away I knew she was my Johanna Faith!! Now as I look back, I know why God called me to adopt this wonderful baby. Johanna was born July 23, 2007. About Dec. 4, 2006 her birth mom may have realized she was expecting a precious baby or maybe she already knew but then made the decision to give her up. At that moment God spoke to me!!!!

Am I Capable? - A Word From God

Last Tuesday night I went to a night of praise, prayer and prophecy at my church. The praise and worship was awesome of course. During that time the Pastor and Elders of my church were in the back of the sanctuary in prayer. They were praying for God to speak to them, giving them words for the people gathered at church. God had a word for me!! Pastor Neil gave me the word from God.

Pastor Neil said that lately I have been questioning myself, asking "Am I capable?" Yes, I had been asking that sort of question just the last couple of days. God had three questions for me to answer. 1. Do I love God? 2. Am I willing to serve Him? 3. Am I going to raise my daughter to love and serve Him? Pastor Neil said that if I can answer "yes" to all of these questions (and he knew I could, he said) then God is telling me that I am capable. It was soooooooooo AWESOME!!!

Pray For My Friends

I have met (through the internet) so many new people during this adoption process. I fee blessed to have these people as my friends. Today two of my friends are really hurting.
Will and Aileen got a call today that their sweet baby, Ariana, passed away yesterday. I can't even imagine the grief they must be feeling. Please remember them, as well as the foster family and birth mother, in your prayers. They do have the assurance that Ariana is in the arms of Jesus but the hurt is still there. She made a huge impact on their lives and will be a part of their future in the memories they had with her.
God,
Please be with Will and Aileen. Send your Comforter to give them peace. I thank you for the blessing that Ariana was to them.

One Year Later

Last year December 3 was on a Sunday. It was during praise and worship time at church that I heard God speaking to me. He was telling me that in a year I would have my own baby girl.
Here it is, one year later. I have my baby girl!! She is still in Guatemala but God is faithful. My baby will be home soon. I can hardly wait until I can actually hold her in church during praise and worship time and teach her to praise God who brought her to me.
Yesterday one of the songs we sang in church really spoke to me about this journey I have been on. Here are the words . . .

Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Or the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
But let the humble come and give thanks
To the One who made us, the One who saved us


Chorus:
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy, He's worthy

Bridge:
I will make my boast in Christ alone
I will make my boast in Christ alone
(Repeat twice)

©2006 Integrity's Hosanna! Music
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
CCLI song #4662350

All In The Name

Johanna Faith
That is the name God and I have chosen for my daughter. Why am I bringing this up again? Tomorrow is the presidential election in Guatemala. Adoptions in Guatemala are up in the air. But, God is gracious (Johanna) and I have to keep my "Faith" that God will complete what He and I have started. I am so glad my daughter will have the name that exemplifies what this adoption process has meant to me and the areas I have grown and still will continue to grow in.

Need Some Good News

Wednesday morning my sister and brother-in-law had a nephew killed in Iraq. He was due to be home by the end of this month. He is survived by his wife, Amber, and two small children. He was only 30 years old.


Yesterday at 6:10 p.m., during rush hour traffic, a huge section of a bridge on I-35W collapsed in Minneapolis. Many were injured and too many were killed. Another sister and her husband cross this bridge everyday going to and from work. They had just returned over the bridge about two hours before the collapse. We are praising God for their safety but also mourning for those injured and killed.

This has just been a week of tragedy. I have had several friends make progress in their adoptions, DNA match, Pre-approvals, PGN outs, and one friend even brought her baby home yesterday. I want some good news of my own now. Please God, send me my referral.

Awaiting Referral

I am now officially on "the list" for a referral. I can hardly wait. It seems even more real now that this is going to happen. "Come on Attorney!! Find me a baby!!" Okay, I will pray about it since I want God to find the right one just for me. MY JOHANNA FAITH.

Dossier it Authenticated!!

On Monday, May 21, my dossier went to Topeka for Authentication. I got it back already this morning!!! Those guys are sure quick! I wish everything in this adoption would move that quickly. I am learning a lot about being patient though. I know that the daughter God has chosen for me, may not even be born yet so I have to wait. Now I will send my dossier to the Guatemalan Consulate in Houston so they can authenticate it too.

For those not familar with the process, the top picture is of my documents with the statements from the Secretary of State (Ron Thornburgh) saying that the notaries I used are actual notaries for the state of Kansas. The second picture show a page from Governor Kathleen Sebilous stating that Ron Thornburgh is the Secretary of State. I guess the Governor doesn't need anyone to say she is who she says she is.

I had 15 documents authenticated at $7.50 each for a total of $112.50. For the Guatemalan authentications it is $10 each - - - $150!!! No wonder international adoptions are so expensive.

Dealing with USCIS

Today Mom brought in the mail and said it was all junk. A few minutes later she hollered to me in the office and asked why I was getting mail from "Homeland Security." DUH? Okay, I didn't say that to her but told her it was about our fingerprint appointment. (Boy was that fast!) That wasn't what it was. DARN! I guess I hadn't sent in the $70 for Mom's fingerprinting or a copy of her birth certificate. They were both in the mail within 30 minutes. By next weekend I should hear about our appointment. Right?

I found my digital camera this morning that has been missing for over a week. I was laying in bed and tried to think of all the bags, suitcases, etc. we took with us to Memphis. The camera has to be in one of those. I couldn't think of any. FINALLY, I decided to pray about it. I don't know what took me so long. I had just spoken God's name when the thought came to me, "the dvd bag!" Then God said, "I was waiting for you to ask Me." GOD IS SO GOOD!!! I didn't even have to ask Him. He just wanted me to acknowledge that I needed His help.

Preach To Me - Pastor Neil & Apostle Paul

It amazes me how God gives my pastor Neil Burum just the right words to speak to me at the right time.
Early this morning I had made up my mind again that I would switch my adoption from Kazakhstan to Guatemala so I won't have to fly. I need to stop believing that and tell myself that is Satan putting fears into my mind.
Then this morning in church the sermon was just for me. Pastor Neil spoke on Apostle Paul's words from II Timothy 4. He started with Paul talking about fighting the good fight, finishing the race and keeping the race. Well, I have started the adoption. Now I have to fight to the end and finish the race (my Kazakhstan adoption).
I will keep my faith in God that what He has started He will complete. That being my adoption. My fight is to get Johanna Faith here and to be her mother. I will not let Satan defeat me and the plan that God has for me. If I do that, my daughter may never have a family of her own. She may remain in an orphanage until she is on her own and that would be my fault for giving in to the fears that Satan keeps putting in my mind.
GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!

Playing the Waiting Game

I don't think I like this game. I wish I could change the rules. I wish the game would go faster. I am not playing alone though. I have met lots of people on the Yahoo Groups who are playing with me. We share a lot as we play this game and talk about the process, the LOI, MOE, MFA, dossier, etc. Things would probably only understand if you are a part of this game or have played before. Some of my new friends have finally finished. Kim and Frank left for Kazakhstan this morning to meet their new son. WOW!!! I can hardly wait until I am at that point in the game. My time will come. God told me it would. In the meantime, I wait and wait and wait . . .
with patience.

Coming To America!!

I don't have anything new to post about the adoption so I thought I would show some of the things I have already purchased for my baby Johanna. This is her "Coming To America" outfit. It is a size 6 months. That means when I go to Kazakhstan I will have to choose a baby that will fit the outfit. HMMM. Is that the first the most important thing I will use in choosing my daughter? Of course not!! Actually, I am praying that the first baby I am shown will be my Johanna. I want God to make that choice for me like He does for parents who are giving birth to babies. I don't want to have to look at several babies and decide. I don't know that it will happen this way but that is my prayer.